Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Can We Make Head-Desk to New Face-Palm?

Ok, so the only review that I have this week is that, if you are a graduate student, and do not read Piled Higher and Deeper on a regular basis, there are things wrong with our head space. I'm also too exhausted from "going the extra mile" to attempt to find a good example of the comic that would be perfectly appropriate for this blog, so stop whining!

Speaking of "stop whining" I have found that the best way to waste ten minutes of your life on YouTube is the 160 Greatest Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes video. The current best geek laughs on YouTube are the Sassy Gay Friend videos for Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, and Othello.

And now for me whining:

I am exhausted. Mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted and I just cannot seem to "look on the bright side" no matter how hard I try. Graduation is so close. I will have finished my masters in exactly one year (since I finished undergrad last May) and I just can't view it as that much of an accomplishment. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and wait for my parents to get here so I can feel normal again. My mentors at Powell are amazing and I don't know how I could have done this without them. However, lately it's been so hard for me to come up with cool, effective things to do in class. I feel like I'm failing them. I don't want to be invested anymore, I just want a break. The longest I've gone without doing something for a class (college or high school) in the past year is two weeks. I need a break. I can feel myself breaking down. The end is so near. Just 5 weeks. However, 5 weeks has never felt so long in all my life.

I keep thinking that this exhaustion may be a sign that I'm not supposed to be a high school teacher. Hopefully I'll be McAffry's long term sub next fall and maybe that will be the ultimate test as to what I should do with my life. I keep looking at PhD programs and thinking about what my parents said about how I should move to England if I'm going to be getting my PhD focusing on Shakespeare. I keep having these random flashes of how perfect England felt two years ago. They come in the middle of teaching, as I walk through the halls, and as I brush my teeth.

On the bright side my Advisor didn't rip my thesis a new one when he edited it (I was seriously afraid of that) and once I present at the conference next Thursday my thesis work will officially be completed and all that will be standing between me and that piece of paper will be three weeks of high school students. Can I make it? I hope so.

1 comment:

  1. That last push towards graduation is always the hardest! I have found that I enjoy teaching much more now that I don't have to worry about turning in papers and detailed lesson plans to a professor. It'll get better! Also...I vote for a cookout or something after you get through all this!