So many annoyances in my life could be solved if I did not have to explain myself to 50 people after I make any decision. I cannot even allow this as a reason to myself after any decision. I had a soft-handed case of pink-eye last week. The doctor told me to stay home from school for the rest of the week. Thursday was painful and shitty, but Friday was perfectly fine. I cleaned the apartment to prepare for my Aunt and Uncle's 10 minutes of being in the first space Andy and I have shared. Today, on return to school, I got so many students asking me why I wasn't there. When I said pink eye I got, from both students and teachers, "that's the oldest excuse in the book". Why can't I have a disease without people saying I'm faking? It's gotten to the point where even I believe that every time I'm sick I'm actually faking it just to get out of something. I beat myself up non-stop about everything I'm not doing. I'm not exercising, not cleaning enough, not cooking my own meals enough, not saving money, not working hard enough on being a better teacher, not looking for a job that I actually care about, not spending enough time on anything. The answer to why I'm not doing these? I'm overwhelmed by how much I'm supposed to be doing. So much so that there's little I can do when I get home beyond just curling up in bed and forgetting about the world for a while. When Andy brings up anything about saving money or cooking or things I should be doing, I lose it a little. I just want to shut down for a while. Maybe that's why I got pink eye, because my body could sense how much I needed rest and decided to provide me with a reasonable excuse to do so. I don't have time. I am at school from 7:30am until 4:00, come home, rest, sometimes eat, then go to work from 8:00pm until 12:00am. I need the money and it's an amazing job.
All I'm saying is that if anyone brings up anything to me during my Spring Break that isn't my actual paying job or my research (which will be the one thing I actually do during SB), I will lose it. Just don't do it people.
And now some reviews...
The Tomato Head:
There has never been a dish from this restaurant that I have not eaten and not said right away "that is the best thing I've had here, I'm going to order it every time". Their menu is extensive and really has something for EVERYONE (vegans, veggies, omnivores, picky eaters, kids, the elderly, pterodactyls, etc.). Their desserts, though I rarely am not full after the mains, are also noteworthy and have something for everyone (gluten free is the way to be!). The only complaint is that the staff is passive and can sometimes have that standard, indie-kid "cooler than you" approach to their jobs.
Repo Men:
This film is interesting, I really can't think of a better word for it. It's is not an excellent film, but it's not terrible, and it's also not average or above average. Almost unclassifiable. The one thing I don't get is that Jude Law's character is raised in this land that is, apparently America, but he has a British accent and many of the signs are in both English and Chinese. It may be a commentary about where America is going, but I do not know for certain since it is never addressed. The premise is very interesting though the romance was terribly tacked-on, though that also may be due to something I wont tell you about because I do not ruin films for people. I'll say this: self-performed couples surgery has never seemed so possible or so sexy!!!
Coffee and Chocolate:
Dirty Chai: Awesome
Coffee: Great
Desserts: Top Notch and Super-Fancy
Cookies: Forgettable and too much sugar in the dough
Price: Extremely high for everything but the actual drinks
I recommend it as an occasional treat, but not a place to frequent.
I can definitely relate to the overwhelming feeling of having so much to do and doing (relatively) little of it. I'm taken to pushing off eating well/exercising until after school's over and just being satisfied with being a mediocre teacher who's staying sane for a few months. I dunno, it doesn't have to be everything all of the time, but lord knows it often seems like it anyway.
ReplyDeleteThere was an interesting sermon in church one week about the opposite of humanism being perfectionism. It kind of stuck with me. Accepting our faults, recognizing our limits as to how much energy we can reasonably expend on various aspects of our lives, and working towards improvement without chastising ourselves for not already being there are hard things to learn and internalize. But I think there's a lot of value to them. We really can't ever be perfect; settling for continual improvement is one of the better ways I think we can use to cope with that.
Best wishes for the break!