Sunday, December 1, 2013

Dating in Korea: OK Cupid

I'm a member of the online dating community. There, I said it. I have no shame about the fact that I've used OKCupid when I was starting to get frustrated with what was out there for me as far as the "single scene" (bars, clubs, & hobbies) and my own social network (friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends) could provide. I decided to take a stab at the OKC and see what I could find.

I mean, who could resist a bangin' profile like this?
OKC in Korea is actually pretty damn crowded. Obviously not as much as in English speaking countries, but there's still a lot of people on here. I never checked the girls side, but I can report that the guy side has a huge variety of guys. There's Koreans (a lot more than I would have expected and mostly in their late 20s- early 30s), Native English Speakers, Africans, Middle Easterners, and a few peoples from other Asian countries. Most of the Koreans on OKC realize that it's an English website and have at least passable English skills.

I wish I could tell you that I found the new love of my life on the interwubz, but sadly, that has not been so.

I've met some very cool guys and made some good friends. I've also met up with guys who were only wanting me for what I could offer to them physically that night and that night only. I'm very sad to report that it is FAR more of the latter than the former.

OKC is essentially a club without music. People look through the profiles to find the people they want to get physical with and then try to holler. There's been a very small number of men who have sent me messages on OKC where the conversation didn't eventually turn into "hey, wanna meet up for only drinks and then maybe we can have sex?"Ugh, shoot me.

Guys on OKC don't seem to realize that girls rarely go on this site because they're having trouble finding sexual partners. They use it because they're wanting something they think they can't get from any bar... literally any bar... anywhere. And those who aren't looking to hook up will send super boring and/or awkward first messages that are so lame that a girl won't respond (i.e. "hey beautiful, how are you?").

My tip to people trying to start an actual conversation with a person on OKC is to START AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION! Make a comment about something on their profile. Something along the lines of:

Hey, you like *tv show/book/movie/music/hobby*? I like *tv show/book/movie/music/hobby*! *insert favorite quote and/or thoughts about shared interest here* *Insert question about other person here, showing interest in trying to get to know them better*

Example: Hey, I saw you like Adventure Time. I love Adventure Time! "Sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something" is pretty much my personal mantra. How long have you lived in Korea?

Girls can smell form messages from a mile away, so don't send the same thing to a thousand girls and be upset when you receive nothing from any of them. You didn't show effort in your message, so why should I waste my effort responding?

That isn't to say that OKC doesn't have some good points. One of my new closest friends is a guy I met through OKC. When we met up for drinks we very quickly realized that there wasn't romantic chemistry, but a shit ton of "oh my God, lets hang out forever and always!" chemistry. I've also been on a few second, third, or fourth dates, but nothing has really materialized.

I recommend OKC for singles in Korea simply because I think the friends I've made and experiences I've had make all the randudes trying to holler worth it.

Good hunting!

1 comment:

  1. Let me start off by saying that you are an exceptional author. Also, as I've been sure to tell everyone within earshot today, I'm marrying the love of my life in 364 days. I also met him on eHarmony. (I'm a (usually) shy introvert who teaches children at a daycare. One day I came home to my parents waiting for me. "Kelsey, the only men you meet are married with children. We bought you an account, good luck.) So I can say for sure that it's a tried and true method to find your happily ever after. However, in the one month of searching before I met Thomas, I came across one man who ran out of my car, suddenly, at a red light during our date, and one man with an insane foot fetish who asked me to send pictures of me tickling myself... So while I was lucky enough to find my soul mate, I am well aware that there's a certain amount of weeding that comes beforehand. I'm glad that you were able to make some good friends, though! -Your Fellow Mainiac, Kelsey C.