Thursday, October 10, 2013

Dating in Korea: Single Life in Seoul

Ohhh boy oh boy, this is going to be a tough one to approach. I've had a lot of different experiences being single in Seoul. I've done the club and bar scene but I began using OKC (about which I will have a MUCH more in-depth post soon) a month or so ago when I decided that I was sick of the "come here, big boy" glance to strangers in bars being my only way to find new potential dates. Also, meeting in bars? Really? I figured that OKC might offer up some guys who are slightly less... how do I put this gently... less...

Dudes like that...

I've never been shy about the fact that I, as a law of attraction, tend to prefer Korean guys. It's not a rule, I've been attracted to many a race since moving to Seoul, but it's just a general preference. This means that, when I go to clubs or bars, I want ones that are packed with natives, and Korean guys in general... well... they aren't the best flirters.

They tend to need a LOT of liquid courage to get over the fact that yes, they ARE about to talk to a foreigner, a foreigner they do not know, a foreigner that doesn't know any of their friends. They do a few shots... then a few more... then approach the girl they've been staring at in the club for the past hour, and... woo.
This, but more Korean and less... made of felt
I know I've talked about the phenomenon before, but let me reiterate it. Your less-suave Korean guys will walk up behind a foreign girl they think is sexy and, to get over the language barrier, they will just go "woo WOOOO WWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" or, sometimes, they'll play firetruck and go "woo wooo WOOO WOOOO WOOOO WOO!!!" I call these guys "Woo Boys" and they make me... so.... ANGRY! They're terrible. They won't ask you your name, they won't offer to buy you a drink, sometimes they won't even dance with you.... they can't do those things, they're too busy wooing! Many men who might have been attractive, interesting, or super fun has ruined his chances with me with this move.

My friends and I will be dancing at the club, looking super hot...

And then a guy comes up all...
This, but skinnier and Asian
And then I'm just like...
Not again...
In order to get around this barrier of shit I started using OKCupid. There are a LOT of Korean guys on OKC and most of them use OKC because they are aware that a lot of foreigner girls use it. There's also a healthy number of expats on the site, so you can find something to satisfy whatever man-flavor you're craving, ESPECIALLY if that man-flavor is "one night only," but more on that will come in my dedicated OKC post.

I've met more than a few guys for drinks from OKC, but nothing there has really been what I would classify as "successful." I've done much better, quality-wise (and by quality I mean guys who are looking for more than just a friends-with-benefits situation), going through the tried-and-true method of meeting guys through mutual friends and hobbies. Quality though these gentlemen may be, relationship material they are not. However, I would say this is an easier way to go about getting your dating pool re-stocked.

If you're new to Seoul, the best options for finding guys to go on dates with are through social events. I've talked a lot about building a friend base on this blog and a lot of the methods to find friends can also be used to find lovers. One uniquely outlet for dating opportunities in Seoul is the Language Exchange. These will be full of people wanting to "learn language through conversation," but, a lot of the time, it's Korean girls and guys looking for foreigners and vice-versa. They're looking to "exchange their native tongue," if you get my meaning.

Some time soon I will be going on my first "sogeting," the Korean version of a blind date. When my friend first suggested the blind date I approached it with the typical western response of "do you think I'm that desperate?!" Then I remembered that the way most Korean couples meet is from blind dates. The guy I'm being paired with is Korean so I guess this is how he meets the ladies. I'll make sure to post about my experience here.

There's a brief overview of single life in Seoul, what have been some of your experiences?


  1. Hilariously & yet depressingly true blog post. The WOO boys... gawwwwwd -___-

    I am an avid OKC user as well, though without much success (I'd say about a 50% rate, yipes). An app called Skout is great for a self esteem boost but mostly full of non-English speakers and a slightly larger than average handful of creeps. The website Interpals is great for (just as you said) people wanting to share language and... culture... riiiight. I still use the app Tinder, as well. More Western guys on there if that's your thing.

    Obviously I am not trying to meet somebody at all. 헐....

    1. Oh wow, GREAT advice! I'm gonna get onto checking these other apps out! OKC has resulted in a lot of guys looking for hook-ups but nothing more, super depressing.

  2. I've met some cool people through :)

    Like you said, it's very difficult to even make a friend, much less find a guy who's potential dating material, unless you have some kind of connection to them :/ And most of the time they're already dating someone <W<

  3. Hi Margaret!!!

    I just recently discovered your blog (because i was looking for Seoul based bloges) around a month ago so I know i'm not someone to butt in your private life but if you want we can meet up in february (or later onwards) since I'll study in Seoul as a university student.I'm a female myself but I have lots of friends in korea (as i was studying in LA last year and the korean community huge) and they are all nice but even tho you might not find the handsome they also have many friends and the friends of friends...:D I am not trying to promote my friend of even their friends in any way just I can understand your situation and maybe I can help you meet a good one.(not one nighter hook up guys...) If not then it's okay, let me know if you want to grab a coffee or something then I'm sure i'll have a lots of time during university days. we can discuss our hardships as foreigners haha I'm hungarian tho just studied in LA.

    1. hahaha! I really hope I'm not still single in February! Shoot me an email when you get here!