KPop Slam: #1 Summer Jams

Ok, I haven't done a post about KPop in a while and I'm full of coffee and have been playing music videos for my students during our "Last Class with Miss Margaret" parties and, for realz, I got some bones to pick and some props to give to where Kpop has been going this summer.

Since I was teaching summer camp and in America for most of July and August I don't feel accurately prepared to give you a big run down of summer smash hits, but I want to touch a little on the music videos that have been highly requested and the songs I have heard blaring out of every store.

For the best music video of the summer, go ahead and skip to the bottom.

2NE1's "I Love You"

It's strangely fitting that the first KPop song I ever heard was 2NE1's "Ugly" and it was last year at roughly the same time as this newest single that comes towards the end of my first year in Korea. This song is actually really strong and I think it really shows 2NE1s versatility as a group. 2Ne1 is really damn good at making sounds that stick in your brain (i.e. BOOMBARATATATA-TATATATATA). This song is, as usual, very club-friendly, which is the surest way to make 20-something Seoulites remember your song way past its release date. However, as usual, I have to complain.

In the video the ladies are sporting what has officially become my least favorite fashion trend: bedazzled nails.

Seriously, it makes me want to vomit.

And then someone decided this would be a good look for Bom:

Notice the MARKED color difference between her leg and face. The woman has been plastic surgeried to death, does she really need to also wear two inches of make-up? Also, I'm pretty convinced that she can barely move her mouth and is incapable of moving her eyebrows.

Video aside this is a decent song that I'm sure I'm going to be hearing for a VERY long time. Now, moving on to the release by one of the other KPop mega-groups...

BEAST's "Beautiful Night"

Quick, generic complaint to the KPop industry: STOP REUSING TITLES! I mean, it was more forgiveable for B1A4's "Baby Goodnight" because it had been a few year since GD & TOP's song, but ULALA Session had their mega-hit "Beautiful Night" EARLIER THIS SUMMER! Come one, people, be a bit more creative!

That aside this is an awesome summer party night anthem which is sure to stay firmly planted on my pre-gaming playlist for a while. It's got a very dance-able beat and it is super fun to scream out "I just want to love you all night long!!" while dancing around my apartment using my Swiffer handle as a microphone. I, for once, don't have any complaints about the music video. It's a generic vanilla ice cream video but it does make me like Beast a bit more. I have had a difficult time with this band because these boys are SUPER BOYS. They are very young and the complete opposite of sexy, and sexiness is something I demand from my boy groups. But there's one part, this part:

With the fireworks and the nice suits

They still aren't sexy, but I would be totally stoked to party with them. I think this video does a sufficient job of taking Beast for "cute high school boys" to "fun college students." Appreciated.

And now the three most rage-inducing songs of the summer:

Teen Top's "Be My Girl", Super Junior's "Spy", & B.A.P.'s "No Mercy

I'm not embedding either of these music videos because IT'S NOT WORTH IT!

Lets start with Teen Top. I didn't hate "To You," which was the first Teen Top song I heard. I mean, it had it's redeeming moments and was pretty catchy. "Bee My Girl," on the other hand, sounds like someone gave the boys underwear two sizes too small and fed them only pixie sticks for a week. It's too fast, it's too high, it has one of the worst examples of "club horn" that I've heard in a while, and, as soon as the song is over I don't remember anything about it. Tthat's the worst curse to any KPop song, not being insanely catchy. The music video is just as super fast-paced as the song to the point where I really... I don't even know who these people are.

Moving on to Super Junior they once again prove to me that they are the least consistent band as far as song quality. I LOVE "Mr. Simple" and "Sexy, Free & Single" was a decent track, but "Spy" is just... annoying. The chorus sounds like the opening titles of a children's show. If you're going to go for a James Bond-esque feel to a song you need to put on (or, preferably, take off) the sexiest tux you can find, grab a martini, and class up the joint, not parade around in your dad's suit that drops to your knees. The video is a ridiculous mixture of classic Bond themes mixed with the hyper-glossed KPop aesthetic.

I will, however, accept any excuse to stare at Shiwon

Last is B.A.P.'s "No Mercy." My biggest problem with this song is that it sounds like a less ballsy version of "Power," which sounded like a less ballsy version of "Warrior." WE GET IT, you're the "bad boys" of KPop, except that you kinda aren't. Big Bang are the real bad boys of KPop because of their overt sexuality and just how little of a shit they give about what people say about them. You guys are just those kids on the playground who pretended to be tough but then screamed like babies when a bee showed up. Also, what the hell is up with all the useless crap randomly scattered through the video? What is this, an add for the B.A.P. family garage sale? This song is you guys talking about how bad ass you are and you prove that with... this?

When you promised to feature whistle prominently in all your songs was this how the whistle industry paid you?

Lets end on a high note with the MOST EPIC KPOP SONG OF ALL TIME!

Psy's "Gangnam Style"

This song is... incredible.

For those of you who don't know, Gangnam is the super-rich area of Seoul. Though neither the video nor song doesn't do much to give a real accurate feel for what it's like to live in this area it does give a good description of the people who live and frequent Gangnam, you just need to understand Korean to get the message. This video is hilarious from start to finish, the dance is the latest craze, and the song is 100% solid. I have nothing bad to say, and this image is the funniest thing of the summer:

I, appropriately, named this screenshot "buttscream.bmp"

I will, from now on, try to appropriately fit that image into every post I make.