Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Dating in Korea: 애교

So you've decided to take on the massive task of luring in a Korean male. However, Korean girls have everything that you don't: they're impossibly skinny, disturbingly hot, have amazing fashion sense, but, above all of these things, they are cuter than you have been since you were 5 and someone gave you a puppy.
Still not as cute as a Korean girl giving it her all
Korean girls have cuteness down to a science. They are tiny, they play up their eyes to the point where they can be the only things you will look at, and their clothes are soft and effeminate. Most of this cuteness is due to the fact that it is a little more difficult for Korean girls to play the sexy card. They don't have the most curvy bodies types and few of them have beyond a B cup. Don't get me wrong, they can turn on the sexy when they want to, but turning on the cute comes naturally to them.

The biggest weapon in their cuteness arsenal is 애교 (pronounced "aegyo"). 애교 is Korean for "insanely adorable baby face."

WARNING: Some of you will not be able to stomach what is to come. 애교s central premise is grown-ass women acting like little babies in order to get their 오빠 ("ohppa" or boyfriend) to do something for them.

Here is a brief video about aegyo:

Aegyo is the Korean version of baby talk. To do aegyo you need to make your eyes SUPER big, pull your most submissive posture (preferably with hands near your face and shoulders slumped in), raise your voice up one octave, pout just a little, and stretch your words while adding some vibratto. I am only good at pouting aegyo, so I can't give advice on happy aegyo which is what girls use to make their boyfriends have more energy.

I, sadly, am pretty damn good at aegyo...
But I use my superpowers FOR GOOD! SeungHyun is VERY susceptible to aegyo, most Korean guys are. It's the fastest way to melt a Korean guy's heart. I've asked a lot of my K-Male friends if they like aegyo and about 90% say they like it but they don't want a girl who does it all the time. It taps into their need to feel stronger than their girlfriends and their desire to take care of what is theirs. However, they don't realize that by giving in to the POWERS OF AEGYO they are actually being manipulated by their girlfriends into emptying their pockets and losing their dignity (I assume all couplewear is because of aegyo).

I am going to clarify first by saying that SeungHyun and I don't fight, but we get in fake fights pretty often just because we both think it's entertaining. Whenever I get tired of  the fake fight all I need to do is beat on his arms playfully and whine "오빠~ㅏ~ㅏ... 아니요~... 어떻게~" (loosely translating to "boyfriend, no, why is it this way?") while pulling this face:
This faced must be accompanied by a whining "hmph!"
Or when I'm bored and want to make him laugh this one always works well:

So go on, girls, play up your cuteness to the max, Korean guys will appreciate it. I love the way guys react to aegyo when it's working, they look just as cute as the girl does because he literally melts to a puddle of nothing.

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