So I know that I have been really half-assed with this blog, but now I feel I may have found its purpose.
After working in the bakery for a couple of months and making some really high-class, awesome goodies I discovered something: money, though overrated, makes you want to pull your hair out and cry in a corner when you do not have it. The job is amazing, but does not pay well enough for me to reach the goals I have. Those goals are paying off my student loans and having enough money with each paycheck that I'm not looking longingly at Ramen noodles. I, however, like the great Dante Hicks, am inflicted with the "rather shit my pants than lift the toilet seat and disrupt the established order" syndrome. I was slightly less than content to just deal with it until I had a conversation with my friend Bacon while he was home from teaching English in South Korea:
Me: Man, I would love to teach in a foreign country, it seems so incredible.
Bacon: Then why the hell don't you?! You are more qualified than most of the people over there and could easily get a position.
Me: Well... if it weren't for Andy I'd probably go, but what we have is too goods to just pack up and leave.
Bacon: Pantomimes the motion of removing a chain from his leg, picking it up, and dropping a ball
That's when it hit me: I'm not staying because of Andy, I'm using him as an excuse to not have to make a major change. Our relationship is strong, strong enough to put up with a year of long distance, but I acted as though any disruption to how things are would just ruin everything. The ball and chain isn't Andy, it's my own anxiety over taking steps to really ease into adulthood. I have been having a year long panic attack over the fact that I am supposed to be an adult now when all I want to do is crawl back to even the worst times in my undergrad years and live there permanently.
Well, that's over now. I'm in the late-early stages of obtaining a position teaching English in South Korea. I'm making the change. Now, on to the new purpose of this blog: journaling the purpose of applying and obtaining a position, studying up on the language and customs of South Korea, preparing for the move, and the experiences while I'm there. The biggest irritant to me thus far in my quest for knowledge about this entire process has been the lack of a resource like the one I hope to create.
I'll be posting again soon to go over what I've been through thus far. I hope this all works out, but we'll see as...
Margaret Tries Being... an ESL Teacher in South Korea