So here's the beginning:
I recently began seeing a shrink. And I have a lot of things to think about. Here are the major issues this blog will hopefully help me deal with:
-She says that I'm overly critical of myself and my major method of coping with that is to turn iton the outside world. My critical and cynical sides are methods I use to deal with what I see as my own shortcomings. This is very true. I'm hoping to turn this blog into a way I can express said cynicism in a logical fashion.
-I have been afraid of creative writing my entire life. The idea of writing down my emotions or thoughts on something and believing they are better than the ways others express themselves has been greatly uncomfortable to me since I was young. My brother is a writer and I cannot even bring myself to read his work, even critically, because I am terrified of viewing his emotions. I have been told by many of my English major peers this semester that I am actually very good at creative writing and I would like to experiment with this possibility.
-My shrink says I need to be nice to myself for at least three minutes every day. This task is terribly daunting, almost to the point of causing panic. As I was walking home today I tried doing this, being nice to myself, and it didn't work. Every nicety I could come up with was quickly countered with a sharp insult to my intellect. How does one be nice to themselves? This is the major experiment of this blog.
-I don't know what I am going to do next year let alone what I want to do with the rest of my life. For the longest time being a high school English teacher made perfect sense to me and was a very pleasant dream to have. I am currently pursuing my master's in English Education and am teaching at a local "urban" (well, as urban as a small city like Knoxville can be) high school and my dreams have been beaten to a pulp. This blog will also be a method for me to explore my possible career choices after finishing my degree. There will be entries on literary criticism, film study, gastronomic experiments (both eating and creating), and probably many others.
This blog is titled "Margaret Tries Being..." and I find that title strikingly appropriate. I am inviting you, my friends, my family, my acquaintances, and complete strangers to take this journey with me. I don't know what I will be at the end but the beginning is surprisingly exhilarating. Comments are very appreciated and encouraged. I don't care if I write an entry on a local restaurant and you feel the urge to tell me I should seriously revamp my opinion of what eatery reviews should be, be honest, be brutal, but be with me on this.
If I sent you an invitation to this blog it is a sign of extreme respect and love.
So... let's begin...